Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Quotes Galore!!


I thought this picture was funny!!

Anywho, a while ago, Josh Dean did something that I thought was pretty funny. He would write down different things people say into his palm pilot calling it his "quote book". Every once in a while, he would whip it out and remind us of some of the dumb and entertaining things that would come out of our mouths. Well, I asked Josh today for this "quote book" and he emailed it to me so I thought I'd like to post it. Also, I would like to compile my own quote book. If you look to the right, under "Random Quotes", there is a quote. I plan on adding to that. Joe thought that quote was funny so I decided to start it off with that one (I said it last night). Some people you won't know, some you will. Josh was also very courteous enough to email me the original "quote book" so I'll post it here for your enjoyment:

Josh's Quote Book:

•Murph: Knock-knock.
Holmy: Who's there?
Murph: Interrupting Murph.
Holmy: Interrupting Murph who?
Murph: Ra! Ra! Ra!

•Holmy: Knock-knock.
Murph: Who's there?
Holmy: Interrupting Holmgren. Murph: Interrupting Holmgren who? Holmy: Guff! Guff!

•Kevin Dee: I thought I was your big steak omelette!

•Murph: You know what else comes with the pancakes? Your mom!

•Mark: How do you say "prince charming" in Korean?
Wes: Ahn lee sur (Wes' name)

•Wes: Popcorn doesn't really grow on trees,
Michele: (with a disappointed look on her face) It doesn't?

•The Great Thor: My innie just turned into an outie

•Mark (creat wrtg): Oh are you the April Fool's girl?
Marie: Yeah
Mark: OK...I hate you

•Jeff Chapman: Why write? Because it's sexy...and fun. That's it.

•Us guys: ONE BOUNCE! ONE BOUNCE!

•Murph: Sand on one foot, sand on the other foot, sand in your FACE!

•Kevin D: Doc Oc's got nothin' on you!!

•Allen: GOLIATH!!!

•Allen: WAS IT EXTREME?!?

•Kevin: Yeah that's how my muscles are- you see then from far away & you're like "woah" but then you get in my face & you're like "wow!"

•Toby: I'm not some beef truck

•Bro Peterson: Who is Cephas?
Student: JOHN......1:22

•Murph: Look, Allen got his 2nd wind!
Allen: I didn't fart!

•Dan Rather: His lead is as thin as turnip soup

•Dan Rather: If a frog had handpockets he would carry a handgun

•Marci: I sleep when I'm tired

•Keats: "Ah, happy, happy boughs!...More happy love! more happy, happy love!"
Sam: Sounds like a Bob Ross painting

•Some girl: Favorite book?
Wes: "The Attic Door" Goosebump series...Vanilla Ice Autobiogrqphy

•Brit: Don't you ever just want to hit pedestrians but that they wouldn't get hurt?

•Anne Jamison: The last line of the poem MONT BLANC says, "Poets are the..."?
Michelle: BOMB!

•Wes: They brought him to America & mistook him for Babushki
Matt: Babushki's a Russian

•Murph: You don't make the best window in the world mom

•Jared: man these are tough computers!
Jordan: must be a Dell

•Wes: Well I gotta hurry cuz Voyager & Deep Space Nine start soon

•Cat: We get a tree permit every year
Wes: What's treepermint? Is that a type of candy? Like peppermint?

•Cat: Cheers!
Wes: Cheers! Where everyone knows your name!

•Matt: If I had to make up a word for porcupine it would be "fombro"

•Murh: OK, I've decided my...decision?

•Wes: I wonder what Mark is up to
Murph: He's probably with his wife
Allen: Andale! Andale! Andale!

•Wes: are you the real Santa?
Guy w/Santa hat: Hell no! I'm too onrey for that!

•David: I won a truck & one of Bob Barker's beauties is going to teach
me how to drive it

•Mom: oooh pretty!
Nat: who's that from?
Mom: me

•Sister Macfarlane to Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): We're on to you!

•Eastern European sister missionary: Only people who are not normal wear hats like that
Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): Oh...well they do wear white ones though right?
Eastern European sister missionary: The men??

•Wes: That's Queen Latifa before she met Reeses

•Josh: How is it gramatically ok to say "I don't have any money"?
Kevin: No it's "I ain't got no benjamin's"

•John (in Elders Quorum to another Elder): I think you're very adequate physically

•Wes: My new years resolution is to increase my nunchuck skills
John (later): It doesn't say this but actually 32% in this study want to improve their nunchuck skills

•Elder: I can't remember the phraseogy right now

•John: No less than 2 hours of exercise a day and you can have a physique like Benjamin Franklin

•Matt: Do you know what "tetoi" means?
Josh: Thirty three?
Matt: No, "shut up!"

•Little kid sitting in front of Allen & me at church after his baby sister didn't finish her sacrament water: I'll have the rest!

•Bro Norman: and who should we follow?
Murph: Jesus

•Matheson: In this case I'd like to defend meatloaf- not only the dish but the singer

•Wes on intercom: Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36, Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36

•Wes to Rene: Well the best place to find me would be at my house

•Matt: He's so black he's purple

•Student: It's like what Leia says to Darth Vader, "The tighter you squeeze, the more systems slip through your fingers"
Matheson: Thanks for reminding me of that

•Iceburg worker: we can only make shakes
Guy at Iceburg: I want a burger

•Maria Schreiber: MAAAAANY people...not many, some"

•Bro Norman (to really quiet student): Hold on, I gotta give you some definitions...
Murph: And a megaphone

•Student 1: This book reminded me of- what's it called? Snakes & ladders?
Student 2: No, Chutes & ladders Student 3: I had the snakes & ladders version...I was poor

•Student: poetry is like fertilizer

•Clyde: Two things are going to happen in the 2nd half...
Allen: hey dad, shut your mouth!
Clyde: ...Arizona's gonna start making their shots-
Allen: First of all, they're not playing Arizona

•Murph: Where's the whale on the toilet? It's in the middle of the Nativity scene!

•Whitney: ooh.. Abe Lincoln...best friend

•Allen: (about the Phantom) does he have a pancake on his face?

•Allen: (about Phantom) do they sing the whole movie?

•Everyone: that's a little creepy- waking up to some monkey
Whitney: well when you're in the Phantom's lair it's nothing out of the ordinary

•Murph: explaining to movie theatre guy why he is wearing a hospital cap that looks like a chainmale hat
Movie theatre guy: yeah that's clever
Murph later (quoting movie guy): "yeah that's clever...and when I say clever I mean it sucks and I'm scared.

•Me: no, I don't like "misunderstood" because it's the opposite of the regular word
Jen: but she's not "stood"

•Allen (while sleeping): I'm just afraid you're going to scam me- I know, I've done the same thing

•Allen (while sleeping): welcome to Zion's Bank. We have a new...

•Mostly Ben: WHAAAAAAAAT? He's crazy! You're beautiful!

•Ben: Io sono il capitano dei ciccioni

•Murph: I just keep hearing the fairy's voice in my head

•Wes (while killing innocent deer): would you rather I kill babies?
Whitney: YOU CAN KILL BABIES??

•Joe: Check out the ears on that guy, he's like quarter African elephant.

•Some guy at the SL airport: so how long are you going to be on the road?
Allen: actually, we're flying

•Murph: nothing is better than a banana
Me: yeah there is- a fresh pineaplle
Allen: I like spooning

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