Election Woes!

So, as most of America, I've been getting politically involved this election. When I say "involved", I mean exhausted, pissed off, weary, and frustrated. I'm so tired of getting bombarded with all the one-sided spun political propaganda that's being spread on the internet. I'm tired of hearing how evil Obama is and how crazy McCain is. So, just because it's impossible to make a decision that I feel good about since I can't find anything truly objective on these candidates, I'm announcing that, come Tuesday, I'm going to vote for..................







That's right! It's the only choice that I feel good about! Captain Kirk is the epitome of awesomeness! He's the real deal!! A true leader!!! A true hero!!!! He knows what's going on! So, there you have it.
PS I love these motivational posters on the internet. There are some really funny ones!!!

Frank the Taint

Frank "The Tank" Summers and Co...LOST!!!
Vengeance is a dish best served cold!!
The End

MCAT=Malignant Cancer Adhesion of my Testes

I'm taking the MCAT on Tuesday and I've taken this entire week off of work so I can throw it all away to learn how to jump through the manipulative hoops of the AAMC and the system they have established to "weed out" the idiots from the future doctors. One thing I have learned is the MCAT isn't about what you know, it's about how dumb you are in falling for the tricks posed by the writers of this test. Also, this test is another one of the many excuses for these already-established doctors to make more money. I had to pay more than 200 dollars to just sign up for this test. Then, once I take it and finish my application, I have to pay for every school I apply to. THEN, most of these schools will ask for a secondary application. But, don't worry, I'll have to pay for those as well. Then, let's say a school is actually crazy enough to like me on paper and they actually wanna meet me. Well, since I'm not important and only a name on a piece of paper, they don't spend .001% of their net worth to visit me. Oh no! I have to spend 90% of my net worth to take Southwest out there in my suit, hope that the school is close enough to walk to, pretend that I didn't just get off a plane and walk for 3 miles, then pray that I can walk back to the airport in time to leave so I don't have to sleep in the airport. And even after all that, I'm still not guaranteed a spot in that class. As far as "weeding out", I think anyone who chooses to go through this entire process is an idiot, no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, our future in Medicine:
But, you know what? It's all a means to a sweet sweet end. No matter what happens, I know that I will be successful, and that is what keeps me going every day!!

The Dark Knight blew my brain to mush!!

This is at 10:15 Friday, July 19th, 7 hours after getting home from seeing the Dark Knight, but after only 1.5 hours of sleep because my brain blew some fuses watching it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanna see it again!!

TO VESPA!!!!!

This is me riding my brand new Vespa LX150. Oh baby!! So, finally, after much turmoil and lost sleep, the vespa is mine. I will not bore you with the details on why it sucked, just know that it all worked out and I'm a vespa owner. If there are any suggestions on what I should name her, please feel free to let me know. I'm going to create an event on Facebook called "Name Murph's Vespa". I hope people will participate, because the best name will be the name of my new addition. I'm gonna go cruise now!!

To Vespa or not to Vespa!!

Due to unforeseen issues and a long story, it's gonna be a bit longer until I get a vespa!!!

Updates and Exhibitionism

For those of you who think that I'm not really naked beneath that bathrobe...think again!! Also, for those of you who don't know what I'm doing, I'm standing in front of our 2nd floor window at the luxurious 5 star Venetian hotel in Vegas showing off my poker chips. Boo Yeah!!

I don't have much to blog about even though it's been since March since I've last written. That shows how much of a loser I am. But, in a nutshell, I moved out of my parents house into another house with 3 other friends. Balla! I take the MCAT in exactly 29 days. Balla! I'm typing this blog at 1:20 am in nothing but my underwear. Balla! I've lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks and I'm still goin. Balla! I've recently discovered that Nirvana (the band) isn't so bad. Balla! I've recently discovered that Nirvana (the state) isn't so bad. Balla! I got my first birdie on a par 5 at the Forest Dale Golf Course. Balla! And I'm getting a vespa within the next couple of days. That's balla as well! I'm gonna write a whole blog on it when I get it, accompanied with a pic, of course. So, till then, peace out!

Humidity, Mickey and Platinos!!

Florida...home of the Marlins, delicious oranges, defective electoral processes, Walt Disney World, Mangroves, Cuba and...ME!
I just got back from an entire week in Orlando and my hometown of Miami! It was the first time I've been back since we moved out to Salt Lake 14 years ago! Here are a litter of pics from the trip:
This was taken after we landed in orlando! I just thought it was a really weird face my sister was making.







MARY POPPINS!!! I've had a crush on her since I was little. So, I put my arm around her and she told me that's not how gentlemen treat a lady. I WAS TAUGHT A THING OR TWO BY MARY POPPINS!! ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE!!!





........








We spent 25 minutes trying to figure out the fountain pattern in Epcot so we could time this pic. That little kid was driving me nuts cuz he kept on blocking the water when it would come out of the fountain. I wanted to throw stuff at him!





I didn't like where Mars was so I moved it here.








This is in Mexico in Epcot. They have this huge part called world showcase where they have places that represent different countries. Everything in the country is authentic. It's pretty bueno!









Um, I'm in Norway!








I was warding off Ninjas in Japan! Notice that my mom wasn't really all that impressed as she sits in front completely unaware of the potential danger Ninjas bring with them. Geez mom!!









THE HIGHPOINT OF DISNEY WORLD!!! I LOVE POOH BEAR AND FRIENDS!!! This was in England!







Me rockin out in front of Rock'n Rollercoaster. This is one of the coolest roller coasters I've ever rocked on!







The house I grew up in!! I even remember that corvette always parked in front of our house!!







I think this guy thinks he's the king of...stuff!








Raw Oysters








Me eating said oysters








My dad always thought this looked like a giant red tallywacker!! That's his terminology!!










This is Miami at night! This is when I realized how much I really missed it there. It's funny! I felt like I was home all week when we were there. I can't compare Salt Lake to Miami because they are so different in so many ways. But I think I could like in Miami again!!

So, there you have it! I hope you weren't too bored while I reminisce my amazing trip.

Surgical Tales!!

As you may or may not know, I've worked in Surgery for almost 4 years! The OR is a cesspool for crazy stories! Mainly about things that are found in certain patients. The photo above shows me holding a 4 gauge cervical dilator that was found up a dude's urethra in his bladder. How it got there, we will never know, seeing as how most of these patients lie about how these things get there! Most common excuses:

"I got really drunk!"
"My girlfriend's really freaky in the sack!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
"I don't know!"
...and our favorite...
"I accidentally sat on it!"

I would like to list some of the stuff we've found in patients and I'll end it with a crazy story where we didn't take anything out...just off:

WE FOUND A CUE BALL AND A #12 BALL IN TWO SEPARATE PEOPLES BUMS! I'M SURE A GOOD EXCUSE HERE WOULD BE A BAR FIGHT GONE BAD!!





IMAGINE THIS JAR IS FULL OF NUTS AND BOLTS...NOW IMAGINE IT INSIDE AN OLD DUDE'S POOPER! HEY, SAFE KEEPING IN CASE HE NEEDS TO BUILD A NEW CABINET WHEN HE'S OUT! YOU NEVER KNOW!





SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T HAVE ANY IMAGINATION!!





NOTHING LIKE A FRESH HINT OF FRENCH LAVENDAR OR VANILLA BEAN SPARKLE WHEN RELEASING FLATUS...OH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIGHT IT? OOPS!




THIS WAS COVERED WITH A TROJAN AND THE GUY STILL SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I ALWAYS KEEP ALL MY CONTRACEPTIVES ON MY HAIR PRODUCTS!



WE FOUND TWO OF THESE EYELINER PENCILS IN A GIRL'S STOMACH! NOT NECESSARILY GROSS...OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT THEY WERE IN THERE FOR A MONTH!




THIS WAS MY FIRST EXPERIENCE, AND, COINCIDENTALLY, THE SAME TIME I DECIDED THAT MEDICINE WAS FOR ME!!! THIS IS THE QUART SIZE, BY THE WAY!!






THIS WASN'T FROM DOWN BEHIND...IT WAS DOWN IN FRONT OF A WOMAN...THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!





AND LASTLY:
This is a picture of tongue bars, or studs, or whatever you wanna call them. We had one dude come in with one of these through his "bits", just like a shishkabob. Needless to say, it got infected. By the time he came to the hospital, the infection spread and it needed to be amputated. When I say "it", I mean everything. His entire "situation"!

The moral of all these stories: DON'T BE STUPID!!!

Thank you!

HAPPY 311 DAY!!

HAPPY 311 DAY!!!!!

I know not many people my age still listen to 311, but this band made a huge impact in my life and I still love 'em. There are many great memories from my youth that I can connect with this band. So, let this be my tribute to those memories in proxy by 311!!

"Give thanks and praise for good things you've found!
Humble people not ashamed nor proud!
And always try to keep your feet on the ground,
and love yourself!"
-SA "Running"

Quotes Galore!!

I thought this picture was funny!!

Anywho, a while ago, Josh Dean did something that I thought was pretty funny. He would write down different things people say into his palm pilot calling it his "quote book". Every once in a while, he would whip it out and remind us of some of the dumb and entertaining things that would come out of our mouths. Well, I asked Josh today for this "quote book" and he emailed it to me so I thought I'd like to post it. Also, I would like to compile my own quote book. If you look to the right, under "Random Quotes", there is a quote. I plan on adding to that. Joe thought that quote was funny so I decided to start it off with that one (I said it last night). Some people you won't know, some you will. Josh was also very courteous enough to email me the original "quote book" so I'll post it here for your enjoyment:

Josh's Quote Book:

•Murph: Knock-knock.

Holmy: Who's there?

Murph: Interrupting Murph.

Holmy: Interrupting Murph who?

Murph: Ra! Ra! Ra!

•Holmy: Knock-knock.

Murph: Who's there?

Holmy: Interrupting Holmgren. Murph: Interrupting Holmgren who? Holmy: Guff! Guff!

•Kevin Dee: I thought I was your big steak omelette!

•Murph: You know what else comes with the pancakes? Your mom!

•Mark: How do you say "prince charming" in Korean?

Wes: Ahn lee sur (Wes' name)

•Wes: Popcorn doesn't really grow on trees,

Michele: (with a disappointed look on her face) It doesn't?

•The Great Thor: My innie just turned into an outie

•Mark (creat wrtg): Oh are you the April Fool's girl?

Marie: Yeah

Mark: OK...I hate you

•Jeff Chapman: Why write? Because it's sexy...and fun. That's it.

•Us guys: ONE BOUNCE! ONE BOUNCE!

•Murph: Sand on one foot, sand on the other foot, sand in your FACE!

•Kevin D: Doc Oc's got nothin' on you!!

•Allen: GOLIATH!!!

•Allen: WAS IT EXTREME?!?

•Kevin: Yeah that's how my muscles are- you see then from far away & you're like "woah" but then you get in my face & you're like "wow!"

•Toby: I'm not some beef truck

•Bro Peterson: Who is Cephas?

Student: JOHN......1:22

•Murph: Look, Allen got his 2nd wind!

Allen: I didn't fart!

•Dan Rather: His lead is as thin as turnip soup

•Dan Rather: If a frog had handpockets he would carry a handgun

•Marci: I sleep when I'm tired

•Keats: "Ah, happy, happy boughs!...More happy love! more happy, happy love!"

Sam: Sounds like a Bob Ross painting

•Some girl: Favorite book?

Wes: "The Attic Door" Goosebump series...Vanilla Ice Autobiogrqphy

•Brit: Don't you ever just want to hit pedestrians but that they wouldn't get hurt?

•Anne Jamison: The last line of the poem MONT BLANC says, "Poets are the..."?

Michelle: BOMB!

•Wes: They brought him to America & mistook him for Babushki

Matt: Babushki's a Russian

•Murph: You don't make the best window in the world mom

•Jared: man these are tough computers!

Jordan: must be a Dell

•Wes: Well I gotta hurry cuz Voyager & Deep Space Nine start soon

•Cat: We get a tree permit every year

Wes: What's treepermint? Is that a type of candy? Like peppermint?

•Cat: Cheers!

Wes: Cheers! Where everyone knows your name!

•Matt: If I had to make up a word for porcupine it would be "fombro"

•Murh: OK, I've decided my...decision?

•Wes: I wonder what Mark is up to

Murph: He's probably with his wife

Allen: Andale! Andale! Andale!

•Wes: are you the real Santa?

Guy w/Santa hat: Hell no! I'm too onrey for that!

•David: I won a truck & one of Bob Barker's beauties is going to teach

me how to drive it

•Mom: oooh pretty!

Nat: who's that from?

Mom: me

•Sister Macfarlane to Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): We're on to you!

•Eastern European sister missionary: Only people who are not normal wear hats like that

Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): Oh...well they do wear white ones though right?

Eastern European sister missionary: The men??

•Wes: That's Queen Latifa before she met Reeses

•Josh: How is it gramatically ok to say "I don't have any money"?

Kevin: No it's "I ain't got no benjamin's"

•John (in Elders Quorum to another Elder): I think you're very adequate physically

•Wes: My new years resolution is to increase my nunchuck skills

John (later): It doesn't say this but actually 32% in this study want to improve their nunchuck skills

•Elder: I can't remember the phraseogy right now

•John: No less than 2 hours of exercise a day and you can have a physique like Benjamin Franklin

•Matt: Do you know what "tetoi" means?

Josh: Thirty three?

Matt: No, "shut up!"

•Little kid sitting in front of Allen & me at church after his baby sister didn't finish her sacrament water: I'll have the rest!

•Bro Norman: and who should we follow?

Murph: Jesus

•Matheson: In this case I'd like to defend meatloaf- not only the dish but the singer

•Wes on intercom: Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36, Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36

•Wes to Rene: Well the best place to find me would be at my house

•Matt: He's so black he's purple

•Student: It's like what Leia says to Darth Vader, "The tighter you squeeze, the more systems slip through your fingers"

Matheson: Thanks for reminding me of that

•Iceburg worker: we can only make shakes

Guy at Iceburg: I want a burger

•Maria Schreiber: MAAAAANY people...not many, some"

•Bro Norman (to really quiet student): Hold on, I gotta give you some definitions...

Murph: And a megaphone

•Student 1: This book reminded me of- what's it called? Snakes & ladders?

Student 2: No, Chutes & ladders Student 3: I had the snakes & ladders version...I was poor

•Student: poetry is like fertilizer

•Clyde: Two things are going to happen in the 2nd half...

Allen: hey dad, shut your mouth!

Clyde: ...Arizona's gonna start making their shots-

Allen: First of all, they're not playing Arizona

•Murph: Where's the whale on the toilet? It's in the middle of the Nativity scene!

•Whitney: ooh.. Abe Lincoln...best friend

•Allen: (about the Phantom) does he have a pancake on his face?

•Allen: (about Phantom) do they sing the whole movie?

•Everyone: that's a little creepy- waking up to some monkey

Whitney: well when you're in the Phantom's lair it's nothing out of the ordinary

•Murph: explaining to movie theatre guy why he is wearing a hospital cap that looks like a chainmale hat

Movie theatre guy: yeah that's clever

Murph later (quoting movie guy): "yeah that's clever...and when I say clever I mean it sucks and I'm scared.

•Me: no, I don't like "misunderstood" because it's the opposite of the regular word

Jen: but she's not "stood"

•Allen (while sleeping): I'm just afraid you're going to scam me- I know, I've done the same thing

•Allen (while sleeping): welcome to Zion's Bank. We have a new...

•Mostly Ben: WHAAAAAAAAT? He's crazy! You're beautiful!

•Ben: Io sono il capitano dei ciccioni

•Murph: I just keep hearing the fairy's voice in my head

•Wes (while killing innocent deer): would you rather I kill babies?

Whitney: YOU CAN KILL BABIES??

•Joe: Check out the ears on that guy, he's like quarter African elephant.

•Some guy at the SL airport: so how long are you going to be on the road?

Allen: actually, we're flying

•Murph: nothing is better than a banana

Me: yeah there is- a fresh pineaplle

Allen: I like spooning

You can lose 5 pounds in 30 minutes!!

I got a haircut! For those who haven't seen me for a while, that's quite a feat(refer to pictures below). The thought to get the haircut did not come without inspiration. I've had many people assume that I don't own a mirror or have no feeling on the top of my head due to their constant reminders that I, in fact, have long hair by stating:

"Your hair's getting long!"
Well, I immediately retort with a quick hand-check to the top of my head and, in a state of surprise and shock, reply with:
"Whoa, you're right! You know, I've noticed my head was getting warmer and heavier with the occasional tuft of hair getting in my eyes, but I just assumed it was some big furry organism deciding to create it's own little ecosystem on the top of my dome. But, thanks to you, I can dismiss that notion."
Then, there is the old ladies at church:
"You know David, I'm sure you'd be able to get married a lot easier if girls could, in fact, see your eyes!"
I can't ever be smart or sarcastic with them just because they're so cute and old. So I respond with:
"Thank you Sister Smith. I'll keep that in mind!" while my eyes fixate on a huge mole on their face with it's own hairy growth that could rival all the hair on my body.
Needless to say, however, these examples don't portray the inspiration that delivered me over the edge of deciding to get it cut. The decision happened two weeks ago when I realized that I could toss my hair around without using my hands!!!! Now, I try not to be a typical guy, with the whole macho anti-affeminate stereotype that some men have. But, being efficient at tossing my hair, well, that forces me to draw the line. Also, it causes physical strain on my neck since I have to use quick motions of my head to get that hair out of my eyes, and (I guess all my elementary and junior high school colleagues were correct) I have a big noggin to throw around.

So, Voila! Here are the pics:

BEFORE

AFTER


So there you have it! We'll see how long I'll last before I get another haircut. Maybe when I notice my neck is sore, I'll go buy a mirror!

PS. I'm carrying the stick in the second picture to ward off all the ladies that are gonna attack me due to my irresistible fantastical sexiness! Oh baby!!

Just keepin it real!

Blogging! This is one thing that I never thought I'd get into. Alas, here I am, blogging! Of course the act of doing is different than getting into it. Passion needs to be involved when you get into it and I don't think I could feel "passionate" about writing meaningless banter on the world wide web available to friends, family and people I've never met to read. Since when did personal journals become public literature? That said, here goes nothin...

My name is David Christopher Murphy. I was born in Miami, Florida on August 25th, 1982. I moved out to Salt Lake City, Utah when I was 11 and have been here since, aside from a 2 year stint in Italy serving a mission for my church when I was 19-21. I currently attend the University of Utah as an Exercise Sport Science/Physiology major and a Pre-med student. One of the many reasons I chose to start blogging now is to update anyone who wants to know everything about these medical endeavors of mine, as well as my dating life(being one of the only one's in my group of friends not married), and any other amusing event that may entertain those aforementioned.

So, we'll see how this goes!!!