My brain

2012 is gonna BRING IT!!

2011-12-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

7 Things 2012 is gonna bring:

1. Milana: I can't WAIT to meet her. She's gonna be the cutest baby of all cute babies. Gerber is gonna feel her cuteness once she's born and call me up to use her as the new Gerber baby face. That lady who does the pictures with the babies dressed as sunflowers and stuff, sleeping in pots or whatever, is gonna devote an entire portfolio solely for our baby. The Miss America pageant is gonna give her a preemptive Miss America 2033 because they can already tell. Point is...HELLA ADORABLE!!

2. Leap Year: It only happens once every four years, or 25 times every 100 years. It's momentous.

Which brings me to number 3: The Summer Olympics: Every leap year equals summer Olympics. If I don't have tv then, I will make sure I get it. The Olympics are the only time I watched tv religiously. All the records, stories, and inspiration fuel me every 4 years, or 25 times per century. So excited for this one!

4: A house: That's right. I'll hopefully be a home owner this year. You may ask "But Dave, you'll be a poor student with a new baby? How're you gonna afford that?" Let me answer that question with two words: LAS VEGAS! This place is the Mothership of foreclosures and over-development. We've found 4 bedroom/3 bathroom houses in nice areas for LESS THAN 100,000. That's a cheaper mortgage than our rent we're currently paying for our 2 bedroom apt. The only thing potentially standing in our way is finance approval. But, we'll figure that out because I want to finally own a home and no bank or mortgage lender is gonna stop me.

5. Med School: Even though I'm sorta in med school now, I'm still not in "med school" med school. I still have an MCAT and interview in my way. However, it's already deep in the universe that I'm going to med school so 2012 is gonna bring the DO class of 2016, including ME. We're already setting up plans for families and what not to come for my white coat ceremony in September (it's at the Rio. Rio=Carnival World Buffet, a wonderful perk.) This journey is gonna be tough and suck and everyday I marvel at the insanity of myself for still wanting to go through with it, in addition to the wonder why Jessica is still willing to deal with this. What an amazing woman! Crazy for willing to stick through this, and amazing!! No wonder I married her!! Here's to 8 years of forgetting what your husband looks like!

6 and 7 are self explanatory:

There you have it! A baby, extra day, home, olympics, future doctor, batman and hobbits, all wrapped up in one glorious and splendid year. No offense 2011, you tried. It's just that 2012 already has so much going for it! I'll be there soon 2012 so you can start warming up the cheese dip!

Victory!!

2011-11-16T17:43:00.001-08:00

I finally beat my wife in scrabble! She has won about 45 games straight in Words with Friends or Scrabble! But now, THE DAY IS MINE!! 343 to 289! The tables turned towards the beginning when I depleted my rack and put down CHARIOT (top of board) to get those 50 extra points PLUS it was on a triple word. It was decided from there. HOLLA!! Me-1 Her-a lot more than 1!

Anatomy and iOS5 nerdery

2011-10-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

I was able to take home a box of bones from school to study so i built this skeleton. It was fun cuz i like nerdy things like this (remember that vagina I had to build in anatomy at the U? That was awesome. Especially since i had Lady and the Tramp on while doing it!)!

I also took and edited this pic solely with my iPhone. The old style lines came from an iPhone app, but the photo quality, shading, cropping and awesomeness is all iPhone! Thanks Steve Jobs and crew!

Monkey farts

2011-10-16T20:13:00.001-07:00

This is what our apartment smells like! It's very good really. I wonder what those monkeys eat. Bananas don't make my farts smell like this, I can guarantee that!

Official Nevada Citizens

2011-10-07T13:54:00.001-07:00

Just got our driver's licenses! I've gained 30 pounds since moving here. It's called pregnancy sympathy weight! A few more pounds and I'll probably need a separate ID for my chin!

My Experiment!

2011-10-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this is a picture of the 2 fantasy football leagues (my brother-in-law calls it "Fairy Tale Football") in which I'm currently participating. As you can see, both of those teams are polar opposites. Of course, my point would be much more potent if I was in 12th place on the top, but the principal still remains. What principal you may ask? The principal that DRAFTING IS FOR LOSERS!!
For the past 3 years, I've conducted an experiment. My hypothesis is that if you do research and work to build your perfect team, you will fail.

Subject 1) Team name "Autopick Next Season":
This team is the team I actively drafting, picking players based on stats and potential points. I consulted ESPN, Yahoo! sports, and CBSSports to determine who the best players would be for my team would be.

Subject 2) Team name "Great Balls of Fire":
This team is the team I let the computer "Autopick" for me.

As you can see, the autopicked team is in first place and the drafted team might as well be in last place. You may ask "But Murph, it's only 4 weeks in the season. Anything could happen." For that, I show you subject 3)

Notice the football leagues (don't even get me started on my basketball skills, both on the computer and on the court. That's another blog.). I had 2 in 2010, 1 in 2009 and 1 in 2008. Notice their ranks. The Moody Reds finished in 3rd and I Shouldn't Draft finished DEAD FREAKING LAST!! In 2009, The Skidmarks, I finished 6th. 6 out of 10 is 50%. 50% on a test means FAIL! Last, but definitely not least, my 2008 team: Smurph Turds (*cue angelic voices). My very first league I've ever done, and I took home the glory. I'm sure I don't have to say...but I will anyway.
Drafted Teams:
I Shouldn't Draft 2010 [12 of 12]
The Skidmarks 2009 [6 of 12]
Autopicked Teams:
The Moody Reds 2010 [3 of 10]
Smurph Turds 2008 (*Aaaah) [1 of 10]

This 3 year experiment has told me that, I will finish in the final 3 if I autopick and I will epically fail if I try and work and research and draft myself.

Take home message: It's a good thing I don't pay for this!

The Murphy family official blog is online!

2011-09-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hey you all (that's right, all 2 of you who see this),

My wife has just finished OUR blog! It's called Murphy's Law and you may notice the link on the right hand side of this screen. If you can't see it, the address is djmurph.blogspot.com.

I'll still keep this blog up for fun, stupid and random stuff. But, I highly recommend checking out our blog, since it's gonna have all the juicy stuff that bloggers love. There are about 5 or so posts on it already so you should check it out to catch up on what's going on in our lives. It talks about stuff like how I get distracted easily when there's a disney movie on, or how we moved our entire life in exactly one week. You'll love it!

In the meantime, enjoy this video:

Those cows love jazz.

PS, the banjo player at the end is my old guitar teacher, Joshua Payne. Classic Josh!

Blogs again

2011-09-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

Quick, last two years in a nutshell:

Graduated

Got married to the most amazing woman on earth

Got accepted to a medical school

Is having a child beginning of 2012

Discovered edamame

Now, I'm officially caught up.

More to follow

We'll Miss You, Michael!

2009-07-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

I was really affected by the death of Michael Jackson a week ago. I never cried or anything! I'm too tough for that (see previous post about pop music)! But, I was really sad finding out he died. To me, his death is the death of an era. My childhood and prepubescence was riddled with Michael Jackson music. I remember watching that Moonwalker movie over and over again. I loved it! My favorite song and music video was Smooth Criminal. I loved the beat and groove and his costume and the dancing in that video was so much fun, as well as the dancing in most of his videos. I remembered staying up watching MTV when they first aired his Black and White video (that was when MTV showed music videos). It was a huge event! I even remember the VJ (which means Video Jockey, which MTV doesn't have anymore since they don't have music videos) right after the video aired, she wanted to see it again, so they aired it again. I remember watching the Dangerous tour: Live in Bucharest when they aired it on MTV (why does MTV suck so much now?!). I was enthralled with him, as most other people were. So, one can see why I'd be affected so much by his death. He was one of the most compelling and identifying music figures for my childhood.

It pains, nay, it KILLS me that there are so many Michael Jackson haters out there who feel "the world is BETTER without Michael Jackson", only because of his last 15 years of constant media discrimination and slander. I've never once turned on him as far as my opinion goes. Was he weird? Definitely!! He was a very strange person! Most real artists are! However, I never thought he really did commit those molestations that those families tried to convict him of. In fact, they could never ever get any substantial evidence for any of it. If he did do that stuff, then he will pay! But, he was never found guilty here so who are we to judge?!

I also think most people have forgotten that he has donated hundreds of millions of dollars to various charities and philanthropic causes throughout his life! He believed in a peaceful world with no hate and bloodshed and did all he could with the talents given to him to help "make the world a better place". He holds the record for "Most Charities Supported by a Pop Star" found in the Guiness Book of World Records in 2000. But, I guess most people just wanted to know how many different noses he's gotten in his life.

I was really curious to see if this "Comeback Tour" was really gonna work and if he was gonna be on top again. We will never know! I've been watching a lot of Michael Jackson stuff on YouTube lately and it reminded me of all that talent that just left us forever.

You will be missed by most! Thank you for everything!

Time to ketchup...or catsup!

2009-02-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

This is a self-portrait done on my iPhone! The iPhone is one of the greatest inventions ever invented for the good of mankind. Too bad you have to join AT&T to use it legitimately. Oh well, I only pay $45 a month for it (I love family plans)

So, I haven't updated for a very, very, very long time. As far as blogs go, I'm kind of self-conscious on what I write about and what I say. So, it takes me a while to write stuff, even if it's only 4 sentences long (see "Frank the Taint"). So, here I am again, updating again. I'm gonna do it in bullet form.

I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!! That's right, I no longer am an undergraduate student. HALLE-FREAKING-LUJAH!!
I got an iPhone! Jealous?
I learned how to solve the Rubik's cube. I can do it in less than 3 minutes now, which isn't bad since I just learned a week ago.
I'm studying for the MCAT again!! The first time was a practice run, a very expensive and stressful practice run!!
I'm now the "Unit Coordinator" at the hospital, which entails no poop cleanup and a dollar raise! Whoopedy-do.
The whole "Unit Coordinator" title is just a nice way of saying I'm the OR Secretary. The charge nurse calls me her "Sexcretary". That's tight!
One of my final projects in school was to run an exercise and health program at a Senior center (see pic below). This was one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had in college. I loved those people!
The Utes Football team ended up the ONLY College football team to end the season and bowl game undefeated. They went to the Sugar Bowl as underdogs against the power house Alabama, only to blow their brains out with their awesomeness! I'm just really proud of those guys, that's why I'm saying this now!
I've expanded my musical preferences to cover most Pop now! I was extremely limited in my pop tastes, limiting it primarily to The Corrs, Madonna's old stuff and, of course, Michael Jackson. That's it. But, in the last 6 months, I've discovered the positive aspects of pop music in general, modern or older. It doesn't matter. The first new pop album I bought other than the three artists previously mentioned was the new Britney Spears' album, Circus. The album is hot, as well as her previous ones. I now love Backstreet Boys (kind-of old school, but still good), Justin Timberlake (one talented dude!), Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce', The Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna (she's really effing good, man!), etc. I know, it sounds gay, but, you know what? There is some really good fun pop music out there so you can all suck it!!
I'm still single!

There you have it! I started going on a huge tangent about my feelings with the death of Michael Jackson, but I took it out and will set aside a whole new post for that. Ok, have fun and peace out!!!

Election Woes!

2008-10-31T16:40:00.001-07:00

So, as most of America, I've been getting politically involved this election. When I say "involved", I mean exhausted, pissed off, weary, and frustrated. I'm so tired of getting bombarded with all the one-sided spun political propaganda that's being spread on the internet. I'm tired of hearing how evil Obama is and how crazy McCain is. So, just because it's impossible to make a decision that I feel good about since I can't find anything truly objective on these candidates, I'm announcing that, come Tuesday, I'm going to vote for..................

That's right! It's the only choice that I feel good about! Captain Kirk is the epitome of awesomeness! He's the real deal!! A true leader!!! A true hero!!!! He knows what's going on! So, there you have it.
PS I love these motivational posters on the internet. There are some really funny ones!!!

Frank the Taint

2008-09-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

Frank "The Tank" Summers and Co...LOST!!!
Vengeance is a dish best served cold!!
The End

MCAT=Malignant Cancer Adhesion of my Testes

2008-08-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

I'm taking the MCAT on Tuesday and I've taken this entire week off of work so I can throw it all away to learn how to jump through the manipulative hoops of the AAMC and the system they have established to "weed out" the idiots from the future doctors. One thing I have learned is the MCAT isn't about what you know, it's about how dumb you are in falling for the tricks posed by the writers of this test. Also, this test is another one of the many excuses for these already-established doctors to make more money. I had to pay more than 200 dollars to just sign up for this test. Then, once I take it and finish my application, I have to pay for every school I apply to. THEN, most of these schools will ask for a secondary application. But, don't worry, I'll have to pay for those as well. Then, let's say a school is actually crazy enough to like me on paper and they actually wanna meet me. Well, since I'm not important and only a name on a piece of paper, they don't spend .001% of their net worth to visit me. Oh no! I have to spend 90% of my net worth to take Southwest out there in my suit, hope that the school is close enough to walk to, pretend that I didn't just get off a plane and walk for 3 miles, then pray that I can walk back to the airport in time to leave so I don't have to sleep in the airport. And even after all that, I'm still not guaranteed a spot in that class. As far as "weeding out", I think anyone who chooses to go through this entire process is an idiot, no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, our future in Medicine:
But, you know what? It's all a means to a sweet sweet end. No matter what happens, I know that I will be successful, and that is what keeps me going every day!!

The Dark Knight blew my brain to mush!!

2008-07-18T09:05:00.001-07:00

This is at 10:15 Friday, July 19th, 7 hours after getting home from seeing the Dark Knight, but after only 1.5 hours of sleep because my brain blew some fuses watching it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanna see it again!!

TO VESPA!!!!!

2008-07-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is me riding my brand new Vespa LX150. Oh baby!! So, finally, after much turmoil and lost sleep, the vespa is mine. I will not bore you with the details on why it sucked, just know that it all worked out and I'm a vespa owner. If there are any suggestions on what I should name her, please feel free to let me know. I'm going to create an event on Facebook called "Name Murph's Vespa". I hope people will participate, because the best name will be the name of my new addition. I'm gonna go cruise now!!

To Vespa or not to Vespa!!

2008-07-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

Due to unforeseen issues and a long story, it's gonna be a bit longer until I get a vespa!!!

Updates and Exhibitionism

2008-06-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

For those of you who think that I'm not really naked beneath that bathrobe...think again!! Also, for those of you who don't know what I'm doing, I'm standing in front of our 2nd floor window at the luxurious 5 star Venetian hotel in Vegas showing off my poker chips. Boo Yeah!!

I don't have much to blog about even though it's been since March since I've last written. That shows how much of a loser I am. But, in a nutshell, I moved out of my parents house into another house with 3 other friends. Balla! I take the MCAT in exactly 29 days. Balla! I'm typing this blog at 1:20 am in nothing but my underwear. Balla! I've lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks and I'm still goin. Balla! I've recently discovered that Nirvana (the band) isn't so bad. Balla! I've recently discovered that Nirvana (the state) isn't so bad. Balla! I got my first birdie on a par 5 at the Forest Dale Golf Course. Balla! And I'm getting a vespa within the next couple of days. That's balla as well! I'm gonna write a whole blog on it when I get it, accompanied with a pic, of course. So, till then, peace out!

Humidity, Mickey and Platinos!!

2008-03-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

Florida...home of the Marlins, delicious oranges, defective electoral processes, Walt Disney World, Mangroves, Cuba and...ME!
I just got back from an entire week in Orlando and my hometown of Miami! It was the first time I've been back since we moved out to Salt Lake 14 years ago! Here are a litter of pics from the trip:
This was taken after we landed in orlando! I just thought it was a really weird face my sister was making.

MARY POPPINS!!! I've had a crush on her since I was little. So, I put my arm around her and she told me that's not how gentlemen treat a lady. I WAS TAUGHT A THING OR TWO BY MARY POPPINS!! ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE!!!

........

We spent 25 minutes trying to figure out the fountain pattern in Epcot so we could time this pic. That little kid was driving me nuts cuz he kept on blocking the water when it would come out of the fountain. I wanted to throw stuff at him!

I didn't like where Mars was so I moved it here.

This is in Mexico in Epcot. They have this huge part called world showcase where they have places that represent different countries. Everything in the country is authentic. It's pretty bueno!

Um, I'm in Norway!

I was warding off Ninjas in Japan! Notice that my mom wasn't really all that impressed as she sits in front completely unaware of the potential danger Ninjas bring with them. Geez mom!!

THE HIGHPOINT OF DISNEY WORLD!!! I LOVE POOH BEAR AND FRIENDS!!! This was in England!

Me rockin out in front of Rock'n Rollercoaster. This is one of the coolest roller coasters I've ever rocked on!

The house I grew up in!! I even remember that corvette always parked in front of our house!!

I think this guy thinks he's the king of...stuff!

Raw Oysters

Me eating said oysters

My dad always thought this looked like a giant red tallywacker!! That's his terminology!!

This is Miami at night! This is when I realized how much I really missed it there. It's funny! I felt like I was home all week when we were there. I can't compare Salt Lake to Miami because they are so different in so many ways. But I think I could like in Miami again!!

So, there you have it! I hope you weren't too bored while I reminisce my amazing trip.

Surgical Tales!!

2008-03-12T10:19:00.001-07:00

As you may or may not know, I've worked in Surgery for almost 4 years! The OR is a cesspool for crazy stories! Mainly about things that are found in certain patients. The photo above shows me holding a 4 gauge cervical dilator that was found up a dude's urethra in his bladder. How it got there, we will never know, seeing as how most of these patients lie about how these things get there! Most common excuses:

"I got really drunk!"
"My girlfriend's really freaky in the sack!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
"I don't know!"
...and our favorite...
"I accidentally sat on it!"

I would like to list some of the stuff we've found in patients and I'll end it with a crazy story where we didn't take anything out...just off:

WE FOUND A CUE BALL AND A #12 BALL IN TWO SEPARATE PEOPLES BUMS! I'M SURE A GOOD EXCUSE HERE WOULD BE A BAR FIGHT GONE BAD!!

IMAGINE THIS JAR IS FULL OF NUTS AND BOLTS...NOW IMAGINE IT INSIDE AN OLD DUDE'S POOPER! HEY, SAFE KEEPING IN CASE HE NEEDS TO BUILD A NEW CABINET WHEN HE'S OUT! YOU NEVER KNOW!

SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T HAVE ANY IMAGINATION!!

NOTHING LIKE A FRESH HINT OF FRENCH LAVENDAR OR VANILLA BEAN SPARKLE WHEN RELEASING FLATUS...OH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIGHT IT? OOPS!

THIS WAS COVERED WITH A TROJAN AND THE GUY STILL SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I ALWAYS KEEP ALL MY CONTRACEPTIVES ON MY HAIR PRODUCTS!

WE FOUND TWO OF THESE EYELINER PENCILS IN A GIRL'S STOMACH! NOT NECESSARILY GROSS...OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT THEY WERE IN THERE FOR A MONTH!

THIS WAS MY FIRST EXPERIENCE, AND, COINCIDENTALLY, THE SAME TIME I DECIDED THAT MEDICINE WAS FOR ME!!! THIS IS THE QUART SIZE, BY THE WAY!!

THIS WASN'T FROM DOWN BEHIND...IT WAS DOWN IN FRONT OF A WOMAN...THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!

AND LASTLY:
This is a picture of tongue bars, or studs, or whatever you wanna call them. We had one dude come in with one of these through his "bits", just like a shishkabob. Needless to say, it got infected. By the time he came to the hospital, the infection spread and it needed to be amputated. When I say "it", I mean everything. His entire "situation"!

The moral of all these stories: DON'T BE STUPID!!!

Thank you!

HAPPY 311 DAY!!

2008-03-11T15:30:00.001-07:00

HAPPY 311 DAY!!!!!

I know not many people my age still listen to 311, but this band made a huge impact in my life and I still love 'em. There are many great memories from my youth that I can connect with this band. So, let this be my tribute to those memories in proxy by 311!!

"Give thanks and praise for good things you've found!
Humble people not ashamed nor proud!
And always try to keep your feet on the ground,
and love yourself!"
-SA "Running"

Quotes Galore!!

2008-03-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

I thought this picture was funny!!

Anywho, a while ago, Josh Dean did something that I thought was pretty funny. He would write down different things people say into his palm pilot calling it his "quote book". Every once in a while, he would whip it out and remind us of some of the dumb and entertaining things that would come out of our mouths. Well, I asked Josh today for this "quote book" and he emailed it to me so I thought I'd like to post it. Also, I would like to compile my own quote book. If you look to the right, under "Random Quotes", there is a quote. I plan on adding to that. Joe thought that quote was funny so I decided to start it off with that one (I said it last night). Some people you won't know, some you will. Josh was also very courteous enough to email me the original "quote book" so I'll post it here for your enjoyment:

Josh's Quote Book:

•Murph: Knock-knock.

Holmy: Who's there?

Murph: Interrupting Murph.

Holmy: Interrupting Murph who?

Murph: Ra! Ra! Ra!

•Holmy: Knock-knock.

Murph: Who's there?

Holmy: Interrupting Holmgren. Murph: Interrupting Holmgren who? Holmy: Guff! Guff!

•Kevin Dee: I thought I was your big steak omelette!

•Murph: You know what else comes with the pancakes? Your mom!

•Mark: How do you say "prince charming" in Korean?

Wes: Ahn lee sur (Wes' name)

•Wes: Popcorn doesn't really grow on trees,

Michele: (with a disappointed look on her face) It doesn't?

•The Great Thor: My innie just turned into an outie

•Mark (creat wrtg): Oh are you the April Fool's girl?

Marie: Yeah

Mark: OK...I hate you

•Jeff Chapman: Why write? Because it's sexy...and fun. That's it.

•Us guys: ONE BOUNCE! ONE BOUNCE!

•Murph: Sand on one foot, sand on the other foot, sand in your FACE!

•Kevin D: Doc Oc's got nothin' on you!!

•Allen: GOLIATH!!!

•Allen: WAS IT EXTREME?!?

•Kevin: Yeah that's how my muscles are- you see then from far away & you're like "woah" but then you get in my face & you're like "wow!"

•Toby: I'm not some beef truck

•Bro Peterson: Who is Cephas?

Student: JOHN......1:22

•Murph: Look, Allen got his 2nd wind!

Allen: I didn't fart!

•Dan Rather: His lead is as thin as turnip soup

•Dan Rather: If a frog had handpockets he would carry a handgun

•Marci: I sleep when I'm tired

•Keats: "Ah, happy, happy boughs!...More happy love! more happy, happy love!"

Sam: Sounds like a Bob Ross painting

•Some girl: Favorite book?

Wes: "The Attic Door" Goosebump series...Vanilla Ice Autobiogrqphy

•Brit: Don't you ever just want to hit pedestrians but that they wouldn't get hurt?

•Anne Jamison: The last line of the poem MONT BLANC says, "Poets are the..."?

Michelle: BOMB!

•Wes: They brought him to America & mistook him for Babushki

Matt: Babushki's a Russian

•Murph: You don't make the best window in the world mom

•Jared: man these are tough computers!

Jordan: must be a Dell

•Wes: Well I gotta hurry cuz Voyager & Deep Space Nine start soon

•Cat: We get a tree permit every year

Wes: What's treepermint? Is that a type of candy? Like peppermint?

•Cat: Cheers!

Wes: Cheers! Where everyone knows your name!

•Matt: If I had to make up a word for porcupine it would be "fombro"

•Murh: OK, I've decided my...decision?

•Wes: I wonder what Mark is up to

Murph: He's probably with his wife

Allen: Andale! Andale! Andale!

•Wes: are you the real Santa?

Guy w/Santa hat: Hell no! I'm too onrey for that!

•David: I won a truck & one of Bob Barker's beauties is going to teach

me how to drive it

•Mom: oooh pretty!

Nat: who's that from?

Mom: me

•Sister Macfarlane to Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): We're on to you!

•Eastern European sister missionary: Only people who are not normal wear hats like that

Wes (who is wearing a Russian hat): Oh...well they do wear white ones though right?

Eastern European sister missionary: The men??

•Wes: That's Queen Latifa before she met Reeses

•Josh: How is it gramatically ok to say "I don't have any money"?

Kevin: No it's "I ain't got no benjamin's"

•John (in Elders Quorum to another Elder): I think you're very adequate physically

•Wes: My new years resolution is to increase my nunchuck skills

John (later): It doesn't say this but actually 32% in this study want to improve their nunchuck skills

•Elder: I can't remember the phraseogy right now

•John: No less than 2 hours of exercise a day and you can have a physique like Benjamin Franklin

•Matt: Do you know what "tetoi" means?

Josh: Thirty three?

Matt: No, "shut up!"

•Little kid sitting in front of Allen & me at church after his baby sister didn't finish her sacrament water: I'll have the rest!

•Bro Norman: and who should we follow?

Murph: Jesus

•Matheson: In this case I'd like to defend meatloaf- not only the dish but the singer

•Wes on intercom: Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36, Josh Dean lanes 35 & 36

•Wes to Rene: Well the best place to find me would be at my house

•Matt: He's so black he's purple

•Student: It's like what Leia says to Darth Vader, "The tighter you squeeze, the more systems slip through your fingers"

Matheson: Thanks for reminding me of that

•Iceburg worker: we can only make shakes

Guy at Iceburg: I want a burger

•Maria Schreiber: MAAAAANY people...not many, some"

•Bro Norman (to really quiet student): Hold on, I gotta give you some definitions...

Murph: And a megaphone

•Student 1: This book reminded me of- what's it called? Snakes & ladders?

Student 2: No, Chutes & ladders Student 3: I had the snakes & ladders version...I was poor

•Student: poetry is like fertilizer

•Clyde: Two things are going to happen in the 2nd half...

Allen: hey dad, shut your mouth!

Clyde: ...Arizona's gonna start making their shots-

Allen: First of all, they're not playing Arizona

•Murph: Where's the whale on the toilet? It's in the middle of the Nativity scene!

•Whitney: ooh.. Abe Lincoln...best friend

•Allen: (about the Phantom) does he have a pancake on his face?

•Allen: (about Phantom) do they sing the whole movie?

•Everyone: that's a little creepy- waking up to some monkey

Whitney: well when you're in the Phantom's lair it's nothing out of the ordinary

•Murph: explaining to movie theatre guy why he is wearing a hospital cap that looks like a chainmale hat

Movie theatre guy: yeah that's clever

Murph later (quoting movie guy): "yeah that's clever...and when I say clever I mean it sucks and I'm scared.

•Me: no, I don't like "misunderstood" because it's the opposite of the regular word

Jen: but she's not "stood"

•Allen (while sleeping): I'm just afraid you're going to scam me- I know, I've done the same thing

•Allen (while sleeping): welcome to Zion's Bank. We have a new...

•Mostly Ben: WHAAAAAAAAT? He's crazy! You're beautiful!

•Ben: Io sono il capitano dei ciccioni

•Murph: I just keep hearing the fairy's voice in my head

•Wes (while killing innocent deer): would you rather I kill babies?

Whitney: YOU CAN KILL BABIES??

•Joe: Check out the ears on that guy, he's like quarter African elephant.

•Some guy at the SL airport: so how long are you going to be on the road?

Allen: actually, we're flying

•Murph: nothing is better than a banana

Me: yeah there is- a fresh pineaplle

Allen: I like spooning

You can lose 5 pounds in 30 minutes!!

2008-03-08T15:52:00.001-08:00

I got a haircut! For those who haven't seen me for a while, that's quite a feat(refer to pictures below). The thought to get the haircut did not come without inspiration. I've had many people assume that I don't own a mirror or have no feeling on the top of my head due to their constant reminders that I, in fact, have long hair by stating:

"Your hair's getting long!"
Well, I immediately retort with a quick hand-check to the top of my head and, in a state of surprise and shock, reply with:
"Whoa, you're right! You know, I've noticed my head was getting warmer and heavier with the occasional tuft of hair getting in my eyes, but I just assumed it was some big furry organism deciding to create it's own little ecosystem on the top of my dome.  But, thanks to you, I can dismiss that notion."
Then, there is the old ladies at church:
"You know David, I'm sure you'd be able to get married a lot easier if girls could, in fact, see your eyes!"
I can't ever be smart or sarcastic with them just because they're so cute and old.  So I respond with:
"Thank you Sister Smith.  I'll keep that in mind!" while my eyes fixate on a huge mole on their face with it's own hairy growth that could rival all the hair on my body.
Needless to say, however, these examples don't portray the inspiration that delivered me over the edge of deciding to get it cut.  The decision happened two weeks ago when I realized that I could toss my hair around without using my hands!!!!  Now, I try not to be a typical guy, with the whole macho anti-affeminate stereotype that some men have.  But, being efficient at tossing my hair, well, that forces me to draw the line.  Also, it causes physical strain on my neck since I have to use quick motions of my head to get that hair out of my eyes, and (I guess all my elementary and junior high school colleagues were correct) I have a big noggin to throw around.

So, Voila! Here are the pics:

BEFORE

AFTER

So there you have it! We'll see how long I'll last before I get another haircut. Maybe when I notice my neck is sore, I'll go buy a mirror!

PS. I'm carrying the stick in the second picture to ward off all the ladies that are gonna attack me due to my irresistible fantastical sexiness! Oh baby!!

Just keepin it real!

2008-03-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

Blogging! This is one thing that I never thought I'd get into. Alas, here I am, blogging! Of course the act of doing is different than getting into it. Passion needs to be involved when you get into it and I don't think I could feel "passionate" about writing meaningless banter on the world wide web available to friends, family and people I've never met to read. Since when did personal journals become public literature? That said, here goes nothin...

My name is David Christopher Murphy. I was born in Miami, Florida on August 25th, 1982. I moved out to Salt Lake City, Utah when I was 11 and have been here since, aside from a 2 year stint in Italy serving a mission for my church when I was 19-21. I currently attend the University of Utah as an Exercise Sport Science/Physiology major and a Pre-med student. One of the many reasons I chose to start blogging now is to update anyone who wants to know everything about these medical endeavors of mine, as well as my dating life(being one of the only one's in my group of friends not married), and any other amusing event that may entertain those aforementioned.

So, we'll see how this goes!!!